As a parent of a daughter I
was always mindful of how she dressed, even as a young toddler. As she grew older forming her own likes and
dislikes with regard to clothing, I remember telling her she was not permitted to
wear clothing with writing on her chest or on her bottom. I found this type of clothing distasteful and
a tool to draw attention to a girl’s breast and backside. The clothing sent a message of sexual
availability. The last thing I wanted
for my daughter or any other young girl was men of all ages leering at
her. I wanted my daughter to be a
“little” girl. Every time I saw words
such as “bootylicous”, “tasty” or “bodacious” on a young girls clothing, I was
more appalled at the parents. To me it
was just an example of “ permissive parenting” and these parents had “stopped
trying to set…boundaries for their children” (Breslin, 2012).
Had I considered any of this
as sexualization of young girls, not really.
I looked at the picture from the view of promiscuity and that the
clothing was causing the girls be more sexually promiscuous. I now have a very different definition;
sexualization is treating all people, boys and girls included as “objects of
sexual desire” with their value comes from their “sex appeal, which is equated
with physical attractiveness” (Levin, & Kilbourne, 2009). I was also surprised by the implications of
sexualization of young boys; I did not equate sexualization of boys with the
notion that boys would grow up to have unrealistic expectations of women and
that they would make “dangerous partners for women” (Levin et al., 2009)
The messages of an attractive, sexual appearance bombards children
of all ages, however the implications on young children is staggering. Children’s emotional development is stunted
and they learn to view themselves as objects void of emotion; they do not value
or respect themselves and often times act out in a sexual manner. Sexualization has also been linked to three mental
health problems diagnosed in girls and women; eating disorders, low self-esteem
and depression (Berlin, 2012). Sadly,
children are missing out on their childhoods as well as missing out on
developing healthy relationships with peers.
Children have too much access
to media; phones, televisions in their bedrooms and iPods. All of these wonderful tools of technology do
a disservice to our children and expose them to messages of sexualization. I am surprised to hear what young pre-school
children watch on television; shows like
“iCarly” which is about young teens. The
children then talk about things such as boyfriends and dating. One little girl, Shira told me that she and
another little boy Thomas were dating.
They have been caught giving each other a kiss on the lips, holding each
other around the hips and neck. Sadly parents trust the shows that air on
networks such as Nickelodeon. Parents
also trust music because many consider it an expressive art form. Music
is very frightening, filled with profanity, sexual innuendo and hooking
up. Sadly, young children not only have
access to this type of music through their own personal iPods, but they sing it
out loud when in my program. They don’t
even edit themselves but instead use each and every word and expletive in the
songs. “It’s just a song, it doesn’t
mean anything” they say to me. I have asked parents to please keep the iPods
at home, as well as monitor what the children listen to. Sadly, the music is not the only form of
exposure to sexualization within the elementary school system. I see it everyday in the way the children
dress and in the way the boys and girls hang all over each other. Little girls purposefully sit in between
boy’s legs or sit on their laps. The
boys respond in wrapping their arms around them. The children have to be separated and told
how to sit with one another in an appropriate manner. The openness of this behavior also impacts
the other children especially the girls.
Many times I have had to console girls, 6 and 7 years old who come
to crying saying certain boys don’t like
them because they are not “pretty enough”.
What a terrible feeling to have!
I imagine the uphill battle these children will have in terms of finding
value and beauty in their true self.
I worry about the children but
I also worry about the parents and I wonder if they know enough. Parenting is a constant struggle and like
many parents I struggled to control what my children wore, what my children
watched on television and with whom they played with. They had time enough to learn about sex and
watch R-rated movies. Gone are those
days when I watched cartoons and Disney movies with my children, they are now
21 and 18 years old but I still worry about the messages they receive through
media.
My awareness has certainly
been raised and as an early childhood educator, I have a responsibility to
empower children by focusing on their abilities rather than their
appearance. Children need to feel they
are capable and have skills and abilities that are unique to them. It’s not to say that we shouldn’t tell
children they are beautiful or handsome—we should but we also need to tell them
they are good at math, climbing, swimming, writing stories and drawing
pictures. Our attention needs to be
nurturing and supportive. In addition,
shying away from difficult topics such as sex or sexuality should not be
avoided or treated as taboo. Children
should be able to engage us in open, honest conversations that “clear up
confusion about issues such as…physical differences…and the basics of making
babies” (Levin et al., 2009). Parents
too need to be engaged in the topic and as educators we have a responsibility
to provide parents with resources and information regarding the messages that
are reaching their children on a daily basis.
Resources
Breslin, M.
(2012). LITTLE women. (Cover
Story). U.S. Catholic, 77(5), 12 – 16.
Levin, D. E., &
Kilbourne, J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new
sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp.
1-8). New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from: http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf
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