Reflection on Learning

“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and in a sense, tragic.  It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent”

--Erich Fromm

Recently I enrolled a new family into my program.  This was the first experience in an early child education program for the family.   The process of beginning a new program, the tour, the play date for the little girl, the enrollment and the first day were so very difficult for the family.  Although the little girl had done a play date and enjoyed herself while in the classroom, the dynamics of that experience were different from the first day of school; mommy and daddy were not staying, they were going to work.  The little girl cried her heart out.

This was the first time the parents were leaving their little two year old in the care of strangers.  The mother and I spent a great deal of time together, more so than with any other parent.  Something about her body language, the look in her eyes told me we needed to talk things through.  As I tried to reassure her, I realized she needed more than reassurance, she needed someone to connect with, a friend with whom she could be nervous, scared, and anxious with.  She needed to know she was doing the right thing for her daughter.  We talked and I was honest with her saying, only she could tell if the program was right for her child and her family and that maybe the program was not the right fit—time would tell her that answer.  Tears continued to well up in her eyes, and I simply acknowledged her feelings and asked her about her family, her background I told her I was a parent too and that everything she was feeling was normal—her child’s behavior was also very normal.  Our talk continued for some time and I really got the opportunity to get to know things about her and her cultural background.  I truly felt a connection to her.  I believe she felt the connection as I noticed her body language ease and some of her nervous energy evaporated.  After she left, I told her she could call in periodically and check on her child. 

As I continue to grow as an early childhood educator, I hope to have relationships like what I just described.  I hope to connect with parents and children in a way that allows for comfort in sharing information as well as comfort in simply being who you are.  “Ensuring…every family feels welcome and comfortable creates a crucial foundation for mutually respectful relationships” (Derman-Sparks, & Olsen Edwards, 2010, pg. 37).  I think this will allow me to keep my eye and my heart on creating and maintaining anti-bias communities. 

What I am describing is nothing new, nor is it an experience that other early childhood education professionals as well as families haven’t experienced.  I do believe educators and administrators have had encounters with culturally, racially, and linguistically, gender diverse families.  What is important is taking time with each family and looking beyond an enrollment number, building trust with a family.  Reciprocal trust shows to a family that “…you care about and believe in their child” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 2010, pg. 37).  Trust leads to greater conversations, to greater parent interest in the education program and greater interest in their child’s academic development. 

Thank you to my classmates.  Your input has been most helpful and has allowed me to see myself in different ways, expanding my ideas and my mind.  I wish all of you the very best in your early childhood education journey. 

Resources

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).