True Relationships

A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.

~ Leo F. Buscaglia

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

~Donna Robertsp, the

What I find most interesting about various relationships in my life is the ease with which both I and the other party are able to slip in and out of the relationship and we are able to pick up just where we left off.  Life at times turns us and pulls us in various directions, whether it is children, work, family issues that require our full attention and therefore I am not able to spend time with the relationship.  I have very close friendships that the above description fits.  One might say that this is a very self-centered approach to relationships, however the friendships don’t have anything to do with self-centeredness, but have everything to do with understanding and respect for the other person.  When we are together we nurture each other, take care of each other, share secrets together, empathize with one another and place no judgment on the others behavior or choices.  I am treated as an individual with unique characteristic and I too treat my friend the say way.   In addition, we also share similar likes and dislikes; we share a common ground and understanding of the world around us.  We both know the other is a phone call away. 

Other relationships that I have shared have been linked to the friendships and relationships of my children; play dates, school functions, and sports provided me a path to relationships I would have not otherwise shared.  These relationships developed over time with the secret ingredient being the children; we talked about the kids, we talked about how the kids were doing in school, and we talked about the behavior of the children.  As the children grew older, developed different interests or even grew out of a particular friendship was when I too outgrew the relationship as well.   If I reconnect with

any of these relationships, again the common theme is the children.

The most significant relationship in my life is the relationship I have with my cousin Georgia (we were both named after our grandmother, our dad’s mother).  She is five years younger than me and we first met when she as infant.  Surrounded by a family of male cousins, we had not choice but to stick together.  As we grew together, I helped her with homework, shared outgrown clothes with her, and shared lots of “firsts” with her (being 5 years older, I was able try things first, and then introduce her).  I took her to her first concert, took her to her first bar, and shared my fake ID with her and introduced her to smoking.  We were good for each other and we were bad for each other, we cried with each other and we laughed with each other—with each experience bringing us closer together creating a strong connection that to this day no one has been able to penetrate or understand.  We shared more than just a name we shared everything.  We were in each other’s wedding and shortly after we both got married we both were pregnant, sharing married life and pregnancy together.  Our daughters were born a month apart, bringing our lives even closer.  Those who know us feel we were separated at birth, or that perhaps we share a brain, and ironically our daughters who are now both 21 have the same relationship as we do; they are the younger version of us.  We know each other inside out and we trust that the other will be there thick and thin (and we have tested that theory to be true).  

My successful relationships have been based on trust and understanding and I believe that is what must be brought to early childhood education of children, families and co-workers.  An environment that has those attributes of trust and understanding becomes an environment where individuals want to be themselves as well as sharing of themselves.  When children are in such an environment, they can be successful students.