Let's Play

           My Connections to Play

“The most effective kind of education is that a child should

play amongst lovely things.”

~ Plato

"If you are a dreamer come in 
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar 
A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer 
If youre a pretender com sit by my fire 
For we have some flax golden tales to spin 
Come in! 
Come in!" 
— Shel Silverstein

n  I always felt there was something more to what I wanted to do as a child; I wanted to engage in play that opened my imagination; I wanted to create. I wanted to play with friends that were willing to play beyond what was available to us.  Our thoughts and our mind was our playground and we could spend time doing just that, dreaming possibilities in pretend play. 

"There is a voice inside of you 
That whispers all day long, 
'I feel that this is right for me, 
I know that this is wrong.' 
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend 
Or wise man can decide 
What's right for you--just listen to 
The voice that speaks inside." 
— Shel Silverstein

n  Expressing myself in a creative manner was very important.  I believed there was something inside of me pushing me to think, and explore other worlds, other people, and other experiences so as to create my own stories.  I wondered if anyone understood what I was doing, engaged in private conversations, assuming many roles and personalities. 

Growing up, I have to admit I spent a great deal of time watching television-I was the television queen, watching episodes of “I Love Lucy”, “Bugs Bunny”, “Leave it to Beaver” to name a few.  While inside, television was my play and I created skits based on the shows I watched.  Television was simpler in the ‘70’s and it did engage my imagination, my sense of creativity and my sense of how I pictured things.  Television watching lead me to my first job as a television director, which I did for over 25 years.  (Early childhood education is a new passion for me, that I have been involved in for 3 years).  I always sought a creative outlet, but play was rather elusive for me growing up.

Learning, studying, getting good grades was the focus in my young life.  My parents were immigrants, and believed strongly that academic success was the key to success in American life.  Luckily, I loved school and homework was not a chore so I did not give my parents any trouble.

  

When I did play, I played with my brother, and he was in charge of what we did, how we played, and what we played with.  I felt stifled when we played, but I enjoyed his company so I endured.  My most vivid memories of play other than my own pretend, private play was the time I spent outside playing.  The playground for me was a carnival of excitement with endless possibilities to loose yourself.  Whether I was on the swing, legs up in the air, head dropped back with my long hair slapping my back, or on the monkey bars hanging upside down looking at the world, I knew I could loose myself in imagination.  The physical experiences of the playground could be repeated over and over again, providing me a new sensation every time. No matter how high I went on the swing, it took different degrees of body strength to project my feet in the air.  I still remember the colors I could see when I finished spinning and the peripheral shouts, and laughing of my friends as I tried to keep my balance.  The playground gave me control, and offered me so many different experiences; I could stay on the playground for hours. 

Play today is not so reckless and free.  If children are outside, they are engaged in organized activities that are adult driven; soccer, football, cheer-leading, baseball.  Play of this type is not based on personal fun, but on competition; competition to win and be the best.  Play is very much scheduled and sandwiched in between academics.  Unfortunately we live in a society that no longer permits free play where kids get on their bikes and ride around the neighborhood coming back only because it was time for dinner.  I don’t think I have seen a child climb a tree in ages, nor have I seen children on the playground near my house engaged on the equipment like I used to be.  More avenues for self-directed play need to be carved out for children.  

                                                  

The world looks different when you play…. it is endless and full of promise

                                                                  

                                                

Play keeps you fresh, play gives you power and a sense of accomplishment.

  

True Relationships

A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.

~ Leo F. Buscaglia

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

~Donna Robertsp, the

What I find most interesting about various relationships in my life is the ease with which both I and the other party are able to slip in and out of the relationship and we are able to pick up just where we left off.  Life at times turns us and pulls us in various directions, whether it is children, work, family issues that require our full attention and therefore I am not able to spend time with the relationship.  I have very close friendships that the above description fits.  One might say that this is a very self-centered approach to relationships, however the friendships don’t have anything to do with self-centeredness, but have everything to do with understanding and respect for the other person.  When we are together we nurture each other, take care of each other, share secrets together, empathize with one another and place no judgment on the others behavior or choices.  I am treated as an individual with unique characteristic and I too treat my friend the say way.   In addition, we also share similar likes and dislikes; we share a common ground and understanding of the world around us.  We both know the other is a phone call away. 

Other relationships that I have shared have been linked to the friendships and relationships of my children; play dates, school functions, and sports provided me a path to relationships I would have not otherwise shared.  These relationships developed over time with the secret ingredient being the children; we talked about the kids, we talked about how the kids were doing in school, and we talked about the behavior of the children.  As the children grew older, developed different interests or even grew out of a particular friendship was when I too outgrew the relationship as well.   If I reconnect with

any of these relationships, again the common theme is the children.

The most significant relationship in my life is the relationship I have with my cousin Georgia (we were both named after our grandmother, our dad’s mother).  She is five years younger than me and we first met when she as infant.  Surrounded by a family of male cousins, we had not choice but to stick together.  As we grew together, I helped her with homework, shared outgrown clothes with her, and shared lots of “firsts” with her (being 5 years older, I was able try things first, and then introduce her).  I took her to her first concert, took her to her first bar, and shared my fake ID with her and introduced her to smoking.  We were good for each other and we were bad for each other, we cried with each other and we laughed with each other—with each experience bringing us closer together creating a strong connection that to this day no one has been able to penetrate or understand.  We shared more than just a name we shared everything.  We were in each other’s wedding and shortly after we both got married we both were pregnant, sharing married life and pregnancy together.  Our daughters were born a month apart, bringing our lives even closer.  Those who know us feel we were separated at birth, or that perhaps we share a brain, and ironically our daughters who are now both 21 have the same relationship as we do; they are the younger version of us.  We know each other inside out and we trust that the other will be there thick and thin (and we have tested that theory to be true).  

My successful relationships have been based on trust and understanding and I believe that is what must be brought to early childhood education of children, families and co-workers.  An environment that has those attributes of trust and understanding becomes an environment where individuals want to be themselves as well as sharing of themselves.  When children are in such an environment, they can be successful students.