Expanded Learning

“I think... if it is true that 
there are as many minds as there 
are heads, then there are as many 
kinds of love as there are hearts.” 
― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

I have learned so much about myself these past eight weeks, some information shocking in terms of biases that I had developed through hearing my own parents talk about other people and some insights regarding my own behavior as it pertained to those hidden biases.  Even if those thoughts are not verbally shared, one is still has bias and prejudice and until that is recognized one cannot move ahead to interact and work with individuals who are culturally, racially, linguistically, and sexually diverse.  I am working on getting to the root of those feelings I have as well as examining past and present behavior to see if my ideas have impacted other people in an adverse manner.  I hope to be able to free my mind of these types of negative thoughts and biases so that I can improve in my work and improve in my relationships with children and families.  With that said I must ask questions and do my homework if you will about people who are different so that I can gain greater understanding of their story as well as dispelling my own biases.

 

In terms of the early childhood education field those same principals apply and I would like to create a program for people like myself as well as teaching teams to have a safe environment so as to share their feelings and ideas about culturally diverse populations.  We need to be able to say to staff, “It is okay to have these thoughts, but it is not okay to act based on those biases”.  I would like to then assist staff with identifying important methods to working with families with diverse backgrounds. 

All of you have helped me grow and thrive during our time together; you have afforded me the opportunity to share personal information about myself and you have never judged me.  I have also learned much about all of you and have been able to gather from you useful, practical information that can be put into practice immediately.  I wish all of you the very best, and I look forward to future classes with all of you.

Artist

Distance

Standing, anticipating, yearning

So much desolation

So much abundance

So much affirmation

Can anyone see Me?

Pieces of me scatter, weave, journey

Pieces of you connect, isolate, encounter

How did we come to be?

Eyes welled up with tears

Excitement, delight, wonder

Pieces of me, pieces of you, multiply, bridge,

Sundered yet again

Resplendence fills my face

Discord drifts away

Sameness, peace, connection

Reaching, longing, together we journey

Growth, expansion, cultivation

Together we sculpted you

Pieces of me, pieces of you

Connect, melt, coalesce

Wide world; must I send you there?

Eyes welled up with tears

Fear, difference, the tether no longer holds

Splitting, tearing, fingertips retreating

Barrenness, darkness, solitude

Richness, promise, hope

The window is open

The heart is wide

This is a painting I did a few years ago, however it inspired me to write this poem about identity, diversity and parenthood.  

We Don't Say Those Words in Class...

There is 5-year-old boy with autism in my program.  Thomas has been in the program since he was two and developmentally he has not changed a great deal.  Thomas has no language, is unable to sit still, interact with the other children in the classroom and he loves pulling things off the shelf as well as banging objects on various surfaces.  When Thomas is walking around the classroom, he is moving his hands up and down, grunting in a singsong manner.  When Thomas does sit, his hands still move about, and he attempts to get close to the other children, hitting them with his hands as they exchange space.  On one particular day, one of the children said to her mom, “look, mommy, that’s Thomas, he’s bad because he hits us all the time”.  The parent ignored the comment, rather rushing her child out the building, grabbing the child’s hand leading her towards the door.  The other children heard her, but remained silent.  In situations like this ignorance is not bliss, but ignorance breeds more harmful ignorance.  I believe the parent did not know what to say or how to address her child regarding a child with a disability, however the fact that the statement was left unaddressed only re-affirmed what the child believed to be true but also perpetuated this idea that children with differing abilities are less than normal.  “A color blind approach that does not acknowledge” difference, “…teaches children that something is wrong with the differences they do see” (Wolpert, 2005). 

The teachers in the classroom decided to do a special circle time to discuss how we are all different, but how we are all the same.  The teachers decided to be “…proactive…to challenge bias…children are likely to be exposed to” (Wolpert, 2005).  The teaching team focused on communication and the methods by which we all communicate, focusing on the fact that although Thomas did not have language, he did use his hand to communicate; when Thomas reached out hitting the other children he was not trying to be hurtful or bad, but trying to make a connection with his peers.  The teachers further empowered the children by showing them ways they could help Thomas use gentle hands to communicate. 

The teachers believed in the social competence of the children and their “…ability to interact effectively and maintain positive relationships with others” (Han, 2010).  They sought to create an environment of trust not only for Thomas, but also for all the children in their care.  To further enhance the experience, the teaching team could have invited Thomas’ mom to the classroom so she could share information about Thomas and how she and her family communicate at home.  Parents are a wealth of information and should be utilized as a resource (Han, 2010).  In addition, the children could go on a trip and visit other children with disabilities, expanding their social focus towards a bigger existence, and helping them recognize “the existence of diverse cultural practices and diverse perspectives” (Wolpert, 2005).  Educators need to believe children are capable to talk about the things they visually see every day that call attention to differences. 

References

Han, S. H. (2010). Sociocultural influence on children’s social competence: A close look at kindergarten teachers’ beliefs. Journal of Research in Childhood Education, 24, 80–96. Retrieved from http://find.galegroup.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/

Wolpert, E. (2005). [Video]. “Start Seeing Diversity: Race/Ethnicity”

Seeing Diversity

I have observed life evolve around me and with that ever-evolving existence has come a change in old definitions for relationships and family structures. Individuals have a keener understanding of self and are proud of their differences, celebrating them in the open.  I too have celebrated along with these changing dynamics of people and families and was pleased to have the opportunity to interact and have meaningful exchanges with these individuals in my program.  As I moved forward in my excitement in wanting to get to know all families and children, I came across a very big obstacle; that obstacle was my teaching staff. 

“We don’t do social issues at this center”, said one of my teachers dropping the book, And Tango Make Three by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson on my desk.  She had begun to read the story to the children when she realized what she was reading and immediately stopped, closed the book and told the children story time was over.  The book deals with the topic of same sex families raising children.  In the story, two male penguins raise a female penguin chick.  Surprisingly at the time there were two same sex couples in our program, both of whom the teacher had a wonderful relationship with.  The teacher explained that we could not give children the message that same sex couples are raising children.  I could see that she was very nervous and uncomfortable and I did not force her to go back and read the story to the children.  I did however say to her, that we needed to sit down and discuss this idea of social issues and how to perhaps share social issues with children as “messages of invisibility and visibility also communicate who matters and who does not” (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 1999).  I felt that it was important for all the children in the program to understand that all types of families are normal and that we as educators have a responsibility to communicate that whether through literature or open dialogue.  As the teacher and I continued to dialogue I began to understand she was coming from a place of fear and that she carried her own “negative attitudes, misinformation and stereotypes” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999) regarding individuals who are gay and lesbian.  She had been raised to believe it was wrong and she felt that discussing the topic openly would go against her spiritual beliefs and faith.  Our work was not to change how she felt, but to change how she processed this type of information and giving value to her feelings and spiritual beliefs while also giving value to those individuals who are different.  We are still working on this type of de-construction of ideas as I am finding biases and prejudices run deep.  It is easier to hold on to what we know rather than expand our mind to something unknown.  The work is challenging as we face not only our own personal demons but also the prejudices children come with that “are influenced by multiple social and cultural contexts” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999).

I see those same types of biases as it pertains to gender as well and once again I am baffled by the idea.  It really is as if we are stuck in some sort of quick sand and we cannot see beyond our own ideas.  As educators we know children process through imaginary play and create worlds so as to better understand themselves and the role they have in the world. “They are not engaged in trivial events…they are…engaged in trying to understand things…asking questions in their minds and then seeking to find answers” (Smidt, 2006).  Why is it then that teachers can be threatened by a male child who comes to school stating that he is not Max, but Maxine; he is a girl and behaves like a girl the entire day including wanting to use the girl’s bathroom.  I hear one of my teachers say to Maxine; “you can’t go in there that is for girls only and you are a boy”.  Of course Maxine is insistent and extremely loud about it.  I approach the situation and quietly advise the teacher that it is okay to allow him to use the girl’s bathroom as long as he and the other children have appropriate privacy.  I sensed discomfort on the teacher’s part and she and her team shared with me later that they were troubled by his behavior and that they were more troubled by the fact that his parents allowed him to behave in this manner.  “Adults have the power to create, to teach, to maintain bias, and to eliminate it” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999). 

My teaching teams and I are working towards a level understanding of complicated social issues.  Do individuals choose to stay put, living and unintentionally breeding their biases?  Can education make a difference?  I do find myself questioning whether or not advance education plays a role in expanding the minds of teachers; do teachers like those in my own program lack that higher education component and therefore feel the way they due regarding differences?  One cannot deny the importance of advance education for teachers in the early childhood education field.  One can hope that education translates to a higher more reflective level of thinking and give teachers the opportunity to “model a range of roles…that transcend traditional gender stereotypes” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999). 

   

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children

      and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC

Smidt, S. (2006).  The Developing Child in the 21s Century, A Global Perspective on

      Child Development.  New York, NY. Routlegde

Thank You!

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” 
-- C. Joy Bell


It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I thank you for sharing so much of yourselves over the last 8 weeks.  All of you have helped me gain insight into myself allowing me to grow as an early childhood education professional.  I wish all of great success and  I look forward to working with all of you in the future!


Best,
Georgia

Let's Adjourn

“I offer you peace.  I offer you love.  I offer you friendship.  I see your beauty.  I hear your need.  I feel your feelings.  My wisdom flows from the Highest Source.  I salute that Source in you.  Let us work together for unity and love.” 

n  Mahatma Gandhi

I have never been a fan of working in groups.  In fact, when in a group setting, I share with my peers that I prefer working alone.  This particular disposition certainly does not prohibit me from working with a group and I actively engage in that type of communication and sharing model.   I have been engaged in groups that have worked well together and I have been engaged in groups that faced an uphill battle the entire way. 

For me, I enjoy groups that challenge my intellect, working alongside individuals who bring lots of different experiences and ideas to the table.  A group where there is trust and respect brings out not only the best in me, but it brings out my fears and anxieties to the forefront.  I don’t feel I will be judged, rather I feel I will be supported along the way.  These types of group interactions for me are a time to contribute as well as a time to gather information and resources for my future work down the road.  I look at these types of high level groups as an advantage in my career and I enjoy the idea of learning from my peers.  When in this type of setting, I am always taking notes, jotting down ideas shared by the group. 

One such group was a director’s group I worked with.  All of us came from different backgrounds and we worked really well together.  We were all functioning at a high level.  When our work was done, we began the adjourning process, which for me gives a sense of closure to something.  This was difficult as I had developed collaborative and personal relationships with the group.  We came to rely on each other, brainstorming and discussing issues each of us had at our own programs.  To wrap up our work together the leaders of the group had us participate in a webbing exercise where we held a ball of yarn and threw it across to another member of the group having to say something positive about the person or some insight gained about the person.  I don’t think there was a dry eye in the group as we were all so thankful to have engaged in such a thought provoking and information sharing environment.  I still keep in touch with many of these women, each of us checking in on the other still sharing with one another

Peaceful communication

Communication matters.  Our words are important, however words on their own don’t have much significance unless we believe in what we say.  Emotion I feel is often tied to my communication.  I feel the importance of the meaning of my words and I want the listener to feel that same meaningful importance.  I also find when there is a relationship between the parties communicating the emotion is that much more heightened.  Recently I have been at odds with my daughter and it feels that we both are dropping words all over the place but neither one of us is coming away with the real message behind those words.  To add to this word spill, strong passionate emotion is being emitted only making hearing each other that much harder.  Often times my daughter and I speak to one another with this type of passion and emotion.  We may think we are communicating, however we are stuck in a place of conflict. 

My daughter wants to get an apartment off campus, however she cannot afford it.  As she lives at home right now, she struggles to get to early classes on time growing increasingly frustrated with the commute to and from campus.  She feels her solution to this issue is the apartment off campus.  Ironically we do not argue over the financial issue of such a move, however we argue over her response to the issue as it stresses her out, makes her angry, and exacerbates her anxiety. I want her to calm down, step away from the anger; she maintains that I simply don’t understand. 

As this is an ongoing discussion in my home, I thought perhaps approaching it from the nonviolent communication practice we would find some common ground and better hear each other.  I pulled back realizing I cannot continue trying to convince her that her emotions and feelings over this situation are not valid.  I also began to rethink my own emotions trying to identify what it was about this situation that was causing me so much frustration as well as causing her so much frustration.  Through some reflection and use of nonviolent communication I was able to realize that I worried that her anxiety and stress would cause her to get into an accident while driving.  I also worried that her anxiety would become unmanageable preventing her from focusing on her studies once at school.  I wanted her to be safe and focused.  Examining her side I could see that although she wanted to live on campus, the bigger issue was the fact that she does not like to be late and the morning commute is so unpredictable that she never knew if she would be late or early.   The thought of being late elevated her anxiety.  In addition to stepping back and giving credence to my daughters feelings as well as identifying what I really wanted for her I took on the communication role of teacher, by providing her with some techniques to help her deal with the commute as well as with dealing with her anxiety.  This method will hopefully in the future alleviate some of the conflict she and I experience allowing us to be able to share our perspectives and values. 

References

www.thirdside.org