I have observed life evolve around me and with that ever-evolving existence has come a change in old definitions for relationships and family structures. Individuals have a keener understanding of self and are proud of their differences, celebrating them in the open. I too have celebrated along with these changing dynamics of people and families and was pleased to have the opportunity to interact and have meaningful exchanges with these individuals in my program. As I moved forward in my excitement in wanting to get to know all families and children, I came across a very big obstacle; that obstacle was my teaching staff.
“We don’t do social issues at this center”, said one of my teachers dropping the book, And Tango Make Three by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson on my desk. She had begun to read the story to the children when she realized what she was reading and immediately stopped, closed the book and told the children story time was over. The book deals with the topic of same sex families raising children. In the story, two male penguins raise a female penguin chick. Surprisingly at the time there were two same sex couples in our program, both of whom the teacher had a wonderful relationship with. The teacher explained that we could not give children the message that same sex couples are raising children. I could see that she was very nervous and uncomfortable and I did not force her to go back and read the story to the children. I did however say to her, that we needed to sit down and discuss this idea of social issues and how to perhaps share social issues with children as “messages of invisibility and visibility also communicate who matters and who does not” (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 1999). I felt that it was important for all the children in the program to understand that all types of families are normal and that we as educators have a responsibility to communicate that whether through literature or open dialogue. As the teacher and I continued to dialogue I began to understand she was coming from a place of fear and that she carried her own “negative attitudes, misinformation and stereotypes” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999) regarding individuals who are gay and lesbian. She had been raised to believe it was wrong and she felt that discussing the topic openly would go against her spiritual beliefs and faith. Our work was not to change how she felt, but to change how she processed this type of information and giving value to her feelings and spiritual beliefs while also giving value to those individuals who are different. We are still working on this type of de-construction of ideas as I am finding biases and prejudices run deep. It is easier to hold on to what we know rather than expand our mind to something unknown. The work is challenging as we face not only our own personal demons but also the prejudices children come with that “are influenced by multiple social and cultural contexts” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999).
I see those same types of biases as it pertains to gender as well and once again I am baffled by the idea. It really is as if we are stuck in some sort of quick sand and we cannot see beyond our own ideas. As educators we know children process through imaginary play and create worlds so as to better understand themselves and the role they have in the world. “They are not engaged in trivial events…they are…engaged in trying to understand things…asking questions in their minds and then seeking to find answers” (Smidt, 2006). Why is it then that teachers can be threatened by a male child who comes to school stating that he is not Max, but Maxine; he is a girl and behaves like a girl the entire day including wanting to use the girl’s bathroom. I hear one of my teachers say to Maxine; “you can’t go in there that is for girls only and you are a boy”. Of course Maxine is insistent and extremely loud about it. I approach the situation and quietly advise the teacher that it is okay to allow him to use the girl’s bathroom as long as he and the other children have appropriate privacy. I sensed discomfort on the teacher’s part and she and her team shared with me later that they were troubled by his behavior and that they were more troubled by the fact that his parents allowed him to behave in this manner. “Adults have the power to create, to teach, to maintain bias, and to eliminate it” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999).
My teaching teams and I are working towards a level understanding of complicated social issues. Do individuals choose to stay put, living and unintentionally breeding their biases? Can education make a difference? I do find myself questioning whether or not advance education plays a role in expanding the minds of teachers; do teachers like those in my own program lack that higher education component and therefore feel the way they due regarding differences? One cannot deny the importance of advance education for teachers in the early childhood education field. One can hope that education translates to a higher more reflective level of thinking and give teachers the opportunity to “model a range of roles…that transcend traditional gender stereotypes” (Derman-Sparks, et al., 1999).
References
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children
and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC
Smidt, S. (2006). The Developing Child in the 21s Century, A Global Perspective on
Child Development. New York, NY. Routlegde
