Thank You!

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” 
-- C. Joy Bell


It has been a pleasure working with all of you and I thank you for sharing so much of yourselves over the last 8 weeks.  All of you have helped me gain insight into myself allowing me to grow as an early childhood education professional.  I wish all of great success and  I look forward to working with all of you in the future!


Best,
Georgia

Let's Adjourn

“I offer you peace.  I offer you love.  I offer you friendship.  I see your beauty.  I hear your need.  I feel your feelings.  My wisdom flows from the Highest Source.  I salute that Source in you.  Let us work together for unity and love.” 

n  Mahatma Gandhi

I have never been a fan of working in groups.  In fact, when in a group setting, I share with my peers that I prefer working alone.  This particular disposition certainly does not prohibit me from working with a group and I actively engage in that type of communication and sharing model.   I have been engaged in groups that have worked well together and I have been engaged in groups that faced an uphill battle the entire way. 

For me, I enjoy groups that challenge my intellect, working alongside individuals who bring lots of different experiences and ideas to the table.  A group where there is trust and respect brings out not only the best in me, but it brings out my fears and anxieties to the forefront.  I don’t feel I will be judged, rather I feel I will be supported along the way.  These types of group interactions for me are a time to contribute as well as a time to gather information and resources for my future work down the road.  I look at these types of high level groups as an advantage in my career and I enjoy the idea of learning from my peers.  When in this type of setting, I am always taking notes, jotting down ideas shared by the group. 

One such group was a director’s group I worked with.  All of us came from different backgrounds and we worked really well together.  We were all functioning at a high level.  When our work was done, we began the adjourning process, which for me gives a sense of closure to something.  This was difficult as I had developed collaborative and personal relationships with the group.  We came to rely on each other, brainstorming and discussing issues each of us had at our own programs.  To wrap up our work together the leaders of the group had us participate in a webbing exercise where we held a ball of yarn and threw it across to another member of the group having to say something positive about the person or some insight gained about the person.  I don’t think there was a dry eye in the group as we were all so thankful to have engaged in such a thought provoking and information sharing environment.  I still keep in touch with many of these women, each of us checking in on the other still sharing with one another

Peaceful communication

Communication matters.  Our words are important, however words on their own don’t have much significance unless we believe in what we say.  Emotion I feel is often tied to my communication.  I feel the importance of the meaning of my words and I want the listener to feel that same meaningful importance.  I also find when there is a relationship between the parties communicating the emotion is that much more heightened.  Recently I have been at odds with my daughter and it feels that we both are dropping words all over the place but neither one of us is coming away with the real message behind those words.  To add to this word spill, strong passionate emotion is being emitted only making hearing each other that much harder.  Often times my daughter and I speak to one another with this type of passion and emotion.  We may think we are communicating, however we are stuck in a place of conflict. 

My daughter wants to get an apartment off campus, however she cannot afford it.  As she lives at home right now, she struggles to get to early classes on time growing increasingly frustrated with the commute to and from campus.  She feels her solution to this issue is the apartment off campus.  Ironically we do not argue over the financial issue of such a move, however we argue over her response to the issue as it stresses her out, makes her angry, and exacerbates her anxiety. I want her to calm down, step away from the anger; she maintains that I simply don’t understand. 

As this is an ongoing discussion in my home, I thought perhaps approaching it from the nonviolent communication practice we would find some common ground and better hear each other.  I pulled back realizing I cannot continue trying to convince her that her emotions and feelings over this situation are not valid.  I also began to rethink my own emotions trying to identify what it was about this situation that was causing me so much frustration as well as causing her so much frustration.  Through some reflection and use of nonviolent communication I was able to realize that I worried that her anxiety and stress would cause her to get into an accident while driving.  I also worried that her anxiety would become unmanageable preventing her from focusing on her studies once at school.  I wanted her to be safe and focused.  Examining her side I could see that although she wanted to live on campus, the bigger issue was the fact that she does not like to be late and the morning commute is so unpredictable that she never knew if she would be late or early.   The thought of being late elevated her anxiety.  In addition to stepping back and giving credence to my daughters feelings as well as identifying what I really wanted for her I took on the communication role of teacher, by providing her with some techniques to help her deal with the commute as well as with dealing with her anxiety.  This method will hopefully in the future alleviate some of the conflict she and I experience allowing us to be able to share our perspectives and values. 

References

www.thirdside.org