Professional Hopes and Goals

People are at times prejudged based on their appearance, their race, their culture, their gender, and their linguistic difference.  Assumptions are made and used as a means to justify certain behaviors.  Working with children exposes to many diverse communities and a disservice can be done if we approach children with those assumptions.  I hope to be able to pause and set aside those prejudices and assumptions that I carry with me, intended and unintended so as to see the real person in front of me.  I want to take time to sit down with a child and get to know them, finding joy in what they have to offer.  With that said, I hope that my behavior can be a model for the teachers to follow suit. 

It is evident to me more administrator and teacher training is required in the area of diversity, equity and social justice.  I find in my own organization that there is the conception that we are in a place of non-bias teaching, however that has not been the experience at my own center.  I would like to see an honest examination of programs and teaching methods to ensure reflection of non-bias education.  In addition I would like to see more intense professional development for teachers and organizations; I think this is the key to create open, honest sharing environments where children and families can feel honored. 

It has been a wonderful experience getting to know all of you.  I have appreciated the sharing of difficult experiences so that all of us could improve as educators and gain greater understanding of diversity and hopefully begin advocacy and change for the children and families we work with.  All the best to all of you; I hope that our paths can cross in future courses.  

Welcoming Families Around the World

Most recently I have enrolled a few Nigerian families to my program.  I know very little about the people of Nigeria, just as I would imagine they are unfamiliar with some of our American nuances.  The children seem to have acclimated to the program rather well and their parents seem happy with the care and quality of education we are providing.  I have noticed both parents speak English with a heavy accent and an understanding of what is being said.  In addition to this language dynamic, I have also encountered one parent speaking English very well, while the other parent speaks some English but is fluent in another language.  This particular blog comes at a good time as I have just completed team meetings with my staff and have been discussing what holidays mean for culturally diverse families if anything.  The conversations have been challenging as my staff struggles with the question, “how can all the children be represented in the projects and activities we are doing?” It is certainly a discussion we will continue to probe and explore but I was surprised that they did not feel it necessary to seek out the parent’s ideas about their holiday celebrations.  Culturally diverse conversations are not as readily understood and more importantly I am finding that for individuals like my staff the idea of culture is a peripheral one represented through crayons, baby dolls and clothing.  I want to dig deeper and for that reason I did some research on the people of Nigeria to get a better sense of who they are so as to better promote an engaging program, inclusive program. 

I learned that although English is the official language of Nigeria and is used for education, business transactions and official purposes, there are 510-catalogued languages in the country.  The following are the major native languages, Yoruba, Ibo and Kanuri.  The country is composed of Christians, Muslims, and native religious in which people believe in deities and spirits.   Families are composed of extended family members, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and in-laws working as a unit through life (www.kwintessential.co.uk).

In order to be culturally responsive towards a family of Nigerian decent I would do the following - 

I would ask how long they have been in this country and how they came to immigrate here; do they have family here (to determine support systems and family structure and dynamics). 

I would ask what part of Nigeria they were from as well as what primary language was spoken there. 

I would engage the family in a discussion about the education environment that their child last attended with follow up questions as to what they felt about the experience; how their child responded to the experience.

Discuss their expectations of the program and our education setting; what needs do they has as it pertains to their child; are then looking for social/emotional support, are they language development, are they focused on kindergarten preparedness.

Once a home language was identified I would provide them with Center materials and curriculum handout describing the program in their native language if possible.

I would host a cultural potluck, providing an environment of sharing and dialogue so as to engage the family in the program as well as help broaden their social network, allowing them to share who they are while networking with other parents.

The process would help build relationships with the family and the program as well as give the teaching teams insight into the family’s beliefs and values.  In addition, the exchange of information will equip the program with information that will help the teachers plan with intention so that the Nigerian family can feel represented, included and engaged. 

References

http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/resources/global-etiquette/nigeria.html

The Personal Side of Bias

I have to admit that for some time now I have struggled with food and have yo-yo dieted since I was 12 years old.  I am now 46, so that adds up to a lot of years of unhappiness with my body.  Early on in my life I became aware of my body and that my body was very different from other girls my age.  As family always surrounded us, we were always eating.  I enjoyed my mom’s cooking and I could be found in the kitchen with her.  I don’t remember the event, but I still remember my aunt’s words to me, “Your butt is so big, I can hardly see past it, what is your mother feeding you?”  As she made the comment, she laughed and grabbled hold of my side and squeezed my skin between her fingers.  I kitchen full of people, and no one came to my defense or even chimed in that I was a beautiful young girl.  Trying to hold back tears, I giggled when she made the comment.  Words escaped me at the time, and it was at that moment I realized I was different and that I was somehow defined by how I looked. Obviously, I was not thin, but rather a fat little girl who was not pleasing to be around.  I did not measure up and it was at that time I began a lifetime of comparing my body to others, women who I defined as thin.  “…No one, no matter how intelligent and skillful at critical thinking, is protected against the subliminal suggestions that imprint themselves on our unconscious brain” (Margles, & Margles, 2010).  In addition, I realized that food consumption had to be controlled, especially when around family members.  I became very conscious of what I put in my mouth when I was around my family, and would sneak off into the kitchen to eat when no one was looking.  Of course this quick sneaking of food only made me feel worse; I was fat, and couldn’t control my eating.  At such a pivotal time in my life, my body changing in ways that were difficult to comprehend, and to add insult to injury, I was flat out told I was unattractive.

The bias against me as it pertained to my physical appearance put me at a disadvantage, as I no longer felt equal to other girls my age.  I felt like an outsider who would not be welcomed in to the “pretty, thin girl club”.    I most certainly felt I was not quite good enough, and I had a “heightened concern about the gaze and perception of others” (Margles, et al., 2010).  Social situations were challenging and left me feeling insecure and wondering if people were listening and interacting with the internal me, or if they were just focused on the external structure of my body.   

Age and time have given me different perspective on the experience as well as how I view myself. I struggle with the notion of how to change the situation so as to create equity.  I believe we as individuals cannot change the opinions and thoughts of others, but we can empower who we are by speaking up and stating our feelings and opinions.  As a 12-year-old girl, I am not sure how that would have played out especially growing up in a culture that taught us children to respect our elders.  As an adult, I do feel that in order to shed the feelings of oppression, I have to share my thoughts, feelings and ideas.  In similar situations, I must not only speak up for myself, but I must also speak up when I see someone being treated harshly and with bias.  Acting the innocent bystander only further perpetuates bias and prejudice. 

Looking back at this situation, I feel that the words were not meant to be hurtful, but sadly the sting lasted a long time.   I also feel that the rest of my family who stood by were shocked and did not know how to react to what was happening.  I have moved beyond measuring who I am based strictly on my body—to some degree.  I am however very conscious of my words and actions as it pertains to food, diet and appearance when I am around my own children, wanting them to not share in the same struggle.

References

Margles, S., & Margles, R. M. (2010). Inverting racism's distortions. Our Schools/Our Selves, 19(3), 137–149. Retrieved from: http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=51372248&site=ehost-live&scope=si

Micro-aggression Awareness

When you are enjoying a group of like-minded people one has the expectation that you would fit in, sharing some of the same ideas and beliefs.  When one is a new member of a particular group, one hopes similar ideas and beliefs can be exchanged as no one wants to feel like the outsider.  I am still surprised by these type of experiences; being a fairly new member of a group, believing I am truly a part of the group, but on the other hand finding out that to some degree I would simply prefer to be the outsider. 

Over the last few days I have been spending time with my husband’s family.  I have been a member of their familial group for about three years now.  While visiting some with some friends my husband grew up with, there was reminiscing of past adventures and experiences that they had growing up.  I listened gaining some insight into my husband as a young teenager.  They all talked, and laughed, remembering days of the past.  At one point a member of the group said, “Don’t you remember, he was a flamer” gesturing with his arm in a downward position. 

I was taken aback and felt as if I was morphing slowly out of the group, watching each person’s expression, surprised at the laughter and the nodding in agreement from all the old friends.  They seemed not to notice my presence, continuing to talk about this one individual.  No one wondered my position on gender differences, or if I had family members or friends that are gay or lesbian.  There was no thought that I might be offended by the conversation.  In addition, no one at the table was concerned or troubled by the prejudices that surfaced during the conversation.  Everyone was comfortable with the flow of the exchanges, except for me.  The circle was however closed off from me; I was an outsider sitting alone with my thoughts.    

The whole exchange left me feeling confused, sad and disappointed in myself.  The reality is I am not part of the group; I am merely someone who married into the group and it was assumed that because I had married in, I shared the same beliefs as everyone else.  I did not know how I was going to become a member, as the gap between our differences was far too wide, more importantly I questioned whether I truly wanted to be part of the group.  Would they accept me for my differences or would they brush off my feelings and ideas?   Sadly, somewhere in my thought process I defended them saying they are nice people and that they really didn’t’ mean anything by what they were saying.  I was also afraid to say anything about how I really felt because my true feelings would further separate me from belonging. 

The experience was rather affirming in the fact that we all on some level perpetuate prejudices and stereotypes through our silence.  The silence rather loudly states it is okay to share damaging beliefs whey they are shared in a private circle, however the silence does nothing to change the stereotypes.  

Culture and Diversity - Definition

The question is simple enough, defining culture and diversity.  I had not realized it would be as challenging as it was and I had to push to get responses.  The individuals I spoke with wondered what I was really looking for and I had to remind all three of them not to give me the answer they thought I was hoping to hear.  I also wanted to see what responses I would illicit from individuals from different generations.  I first asked my husband, 50 years old, who by definition would describe himself as conservative and raised Irish Catholic for.  He hesitated with his response but defined culture as the means by which he gets through the day to day, the routine of the day.  He went on to define diversity as different cultures, people of different nationalities, races, Greeks, Latinos living amongst each other.  My 17-year-old son was next in line; he would define himself as a liberal socialist who intends to be vote in the 2012 election.  Based on how he describes himself as well as the very different social circles he interacts with, I thought he would have been more at ease at giving a response.  Culture for him means, different customs people have, how people act as well as their art and music.  Diversity he felt was simply being different and being around different cultures.  Lastly, I asked one of the teachers in my program who is a 31-year-old African American.  She felt culture is what you feel, who you are and what your people do.  She added culture is also traditions and where you come from.  Diversity is the mixing of people with different beliefs, mixed races living among each other. 

What was most interesting about their responses is the similarities regarding culture.  All the individuals questioned responded that culture is how one acts in their everyday life.  Experiences such as routines, and schedules are part of one’s culture.  What I did not hear was any expression of values and beliefs that are commonly shared among people of the same culture.  I thought each of the participants would have mentioned language in their description as we are surrounded by different mechanism such as phone prompts that ask us to choose in either English or in Spanish.  There was no single attribute; gender, age, social/economic class, other than race mentioned in any of the definitions.  I was surprised that none of the answers included any religious based descriptions, as faith gives meaning to many of the beliefs and values held by a cultural group.  As far as diversity, the answers were once again similar, different people mixing and living among each other.  I think had I probed a little bit, I would have perhaps heard descriptions of groups of people not mixing well together or particular stereotypes that exist among people of difference.  I do feel the fact that living in the D.C. area that we experience culture and diversity every day. Our communities are very mixed, but I do not think the mixing of cultures and living among each other is necessarily by choice but is rather out of economic necessity.  Many people of culture are still closed off to strangers and they tend to interact with people of the same cultural and linguistic background. 

We all know so little about each other and we also lack the desire to get to know one another beyond peripheral definitions.  I think we are so caught up in the fact that our own individual lives and culture are the right way to do things that we ignore the fact that others have ways of doing things that work for them.  To celebrate difference, we have to engage in conversation that involves asking questions and sharing opinions without fear of ridicule.  

My Family Culture

How does one choose just three items representative of family culture?  Even more jarring is being faced with the possibility of starting anew in a new country and you are the minority culture.  My thoughts are jumbled as I am cataloging items of importance that would speak of my family culture.  How much of my family culture do I share all at once; do I focus on the external culture based on my olive-skinned appearance or the holidays we celebrate as a culture? Perhaps those characteristics are too superficial.    

I would most definitely bring a picture of my family, one that included my own children, parents and older brother, but one that included my aunts, uncles and cousins as they made up my entire cultural life.  My history is tied to all of them and growing up they were my social, and emotional circle.  My family, parents included gave definition to who I am, they were the driving force behind many of my choices and decisions.  The importance of my children being in the picture is the testament to the importance of my family culture and I have since passed on that culture to them so that it can be carried forward. 

Me and my children

Me with my mom, children and aunt

Along with the picture, I would bring a recipe of my favorite Greek meal.  My mom passed on recipes to me that I still prepare for my family.  The sharing of food, the different ingredients, the different tastes and textures are one way to get to know someone who is different.  Food connects us to our place of origin and is a non-invasive way to welcome strangers into our midst allowing they an opportunity to get to know us. 

My husband, my mom, my children and a family friend

I would then bring a gold cross that was given to me when I was just a baby and baptized into the Greek Orthodox faith.  The cross represents my religious beliefs.  The cross is also a mechanism that grounds me and provides me hope and understanding for the many challenges my family endured and that I have faced in my life.  My cross is the symbol of what keeps me moving forward.

   

Initially I was torn and saddened that I would be able to only keep one item.  How could I possible give up the picture of my heritage, my family?  I could describe them one by one keeping my story visible.  I could also write my story so that it would be preserved, so I chose to hold on to my cross.  The wearing of the cross would be an obvious, visible object of difference from my new home of which I am a stranger.  It is important for me to be the “different” one, as I cannot possible be like the culture I have now been immersed in.  The cross would raise questions that I would then be able to address, describing not only the meaning behind the cross, but describing the family which first gave me the cross and helped make me who I am.  It would be a constant reminder of my family, the values given to me by them along with the characteristics I display when doing things.  The cross would also be a source of strength and faith to help me survive in this new place. 

A Greek Orthodox Church in Athens, Greece

 I struggled to come up with a third item as I felt the family picture and my cross were sufficient.  I realized that I wanted to be noticed in this different country; I did not want to be like everyone else—that felt too sterile and robotic.  I wanted my characteristics to shine through and I wanted to be able to carry something that would be visible at all times and raised questions.  I believe though conversation we can keep our own culture alive and breathing, preserving it into the future.  I did want to live among the new culture in a peaceful accepting manner, but I also realized I did not want to be like the new culture; I wanted my culture to live alongside their culture.